The Life I Should Have Had
by W1036416
Summary: CJ and Molly after "that" incident
1. Chapter 1

**All characters belong to the BBC (although I wish CJ was Mine :b)**

 _He's been different since he got home from this last tour._

 _Actually, that's not true, he's been different since Elvis._

Molly wrote in her diary.

Staff Sergeant Molly Dawes sat at her desk tapping the pen against her lips as she tried to find the words to put down on paper.

Charles had been home for 10 days now, and oh he'd put on an act for the outside world. He'd even put on the act for her, he'd said and done the right things and had even made love to her but Molly knew.

She knew him almost better than she knew herself. And she knew that he was hiding something from her.

What it was though she didn't know, and in all honesty she was scared to find out.

 _two months later_

 _That Bitch!_

 _That no good two faced bastard!_

 _She was supposed to be my friend and he was supposed to be the love of my life!_

 _I knew something was up. I knew something wasn't right despite all the 'romantic' dinners and him still taking me to bed!_

 _Okay so she lost the love of her life. Elvis died._

 _Okay so he lost his best friend. Elvis died._

 _But does that mean I have to lose the love of my life and my best friend?_

 _How does that work? How is that fair?_

 _Well it doesn't matter now does it?_

Molly slammed her diary closed and threw it at the wall.

Damn it! I refuse to cry! She said to herself.

She stood and straightened up her uniform, leaving her office she made her way to see her CO.

She gave a brisk knock on his office door and waited.

"Enter!" came the booming voice of Captain Geddings.

Molly opened the door, marched into the office saluted and stood at attention.

"Stand easy, Dawes." Molly relaxed her stance with her hands behind her back.

"What can I do for you Staff Sergeant?"

"I need to request a transfer, Sir."

Captain Geddings looked at her in disbelief. He had known Molly Dawes for a long time, she had been one of his Basic recruits when he was a corporal and this was out of the blue for her.

"Molly, sit down. What an earth has happened?"

Molly sat in the chair opposite him.

"I can't stay 'ere, Sir. He come back diff'rent from that last tour. I knew sumfing was wrong. I jus' knew it. But I didn't fink it would be this."

Molly took a deep breath and tried to compose herself.

"He cheated on me, Sir. Wiv Georgie."

Molly couldn't hold it back any longer and the tears started to stream down her face.

Captain Geddings got up from his chair and walked around his desk, kneeling down in front of her he passed her a tissue.

"Oh, Dawsey, I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

"Get me a transfer, Sir. Don't care where, I just can't stay 'ere."

"Come and see me at the end of the day, I'll see what I can do."

"Fanks, Sir."

Molly got up from the chair, stood at attention and saluted.

"Dismissed, Dawes."

"Sir!"

Molly then turned on the spot and marched out of the office.

Once she was out, she relaxed her self and walked back to her own office. She knew that Geddings would get her out so she'd better get her shit in order.

Three hours later she was again knocking on the door of Captain Geddings.

"Come in, Dawes."

Molly walked into the office and closed the door.

"Sit down, Dawes."

"Fank you, Sir."

"Right, lets get straight to it, shall we?" Captain Geddings asked.

Molly gave him a small smile.

"Please, Sir."

"Now, as you know, transfers between regiments usually take time, what with all the paperwork etc. However, I've managed to pull some strings and cash in a couple of favours and I can get you out of here by the end of the week. How does that sound?"

Molly's relief was visible. "That sounds good, Sir."

"Good," Captain Geddings paused. "You do however have a choice to make. How far away from here to you want to get?"

"As far as possible, Sir."

"I thought you might say that, so, Cyprus or Canada?" Captain Geddings said with a smile.

"Wot?"

"You have the choice, Molly. Blue Beret Camp, Cyprus or CFB Suffield, Canada. Which do you want?"

Molly took a deep breath. "We use Cyprus for decompression, Sir. So, I fink the only way to 'av no chance of seein' niver of 'em, it'll 'av to be Canada."

"I thought you might say that too," said Captain Geddings as he pushed an envelope towards her. "Here you go, all the relative documents signed and stamped. Flight from Gatwick is booked for Saturday. Is that enough time?"

"Yes, Sir. I've already squared away my office. It won't take long to pack up my bits at the flat, and he's away 'til next Wednesday on exercise. Can I ask just one more fing from you, Sir?"

"Dawes, you can ask me anything and if it's within my power I'll do it."

"Don't tell 'im where I've gone." She said. "'er eeva. I can't see 'em again, Sir."

"On one condition Molly Dawes, you keep in touch with me. You let me know how you are doing and what you are up to, understood?"

"Sir, yes, Sir!"

Molly stood up, Captain Matthew Geddings walked round to her and hugged her.

"I'm going to miss you, Dawsey."

"Ditto," Molly said quietly.

 _seven months later_

"Push, Sergeant, you have to push now." the doctor said.

"I can't. I can't do it."

"Sergeant Dawes, you have to push, and push now, that is an order!"

Molly took a deep breath, clenched her teeth and pushed. Suddenly an infants cry pierced the room.

"It's a girl!" the midwife said with excitement. "Here you go, Mum, say hello to your daughter."

Molly looked down at the tiny baby that had been put on her chest, with her dark hair and brown eyes, and started to cry.

"Hello, Charlotte."

* * *

 _please like, comment, follow whatever you want to do. Would love to hear from you_


	2. Chapter 2

_My heads not been right since I got home._

 _Actually my heads not been right since Elvis died._

Captain Charles James, gave himself a shake as he tried to clear his head.

He had been home for 10 days now and he had acted the perfect husband, including making love to his wife.

Oh God, Molly. She didn't deserve this. She'd been nothing but supportive through the last 3 years.

He couldn't let her find out, but in all honesty he was scared that she would.

 _two months later_

 _"She knows!"_

 _Shit!_

 _How did she find out?_

 _I'd done everything I could to keep it from her, romantic dinners taking her to bed._

 _But Georgie had lost the love of her life._

 _I had lost my best friend._

 _Elvis died. We were drawn together. Drawn to the only other person who understood the love we felt for that man._

 _I fell for her. I didn't mean to. I didn't plan it._

 _God, Molly doesn't deserve this. She was always to good for me._

Charles turned his phone off and threw it back into his tent.

There was nothing he could do now, he was stuck in the Lake District on a 10 day exercise with 2 section and wasn't due back until the following Wednesday.

"Okay you bunch of cockwombles, you have 15 minutes to get out of those tents and into full kit. 20k hike and back in time for lunch. GO!"

Charles could hear the scrabble of his men as they tried tountangle themselves from their tents and sleeping bags.

"14 minutes!" He shouted.

He went back into his tent to retrieve his phone and turned it back on.

'I need to talk to her' he thought as he pressed the call button on Molly's name.

" _The person you are calling is unavailable please send a text or try again later"_

He looked at his watch. 06.18. He knew she would be up. Molly was always up by 06.00.

"12 minutes. The last one on parade is on latrines later so you'd better move it!"

"Ah, come on Boss,"

But Charles wasn't in the mood for banter this morning.

The hike went off without a hitch all the lads kept up, even though Charles had set the pace hard.

They got back to camp in close to record time. "Alright lads, well done. Now get cleaned up and grab some scoff."

Charles turned his phone on again and looked at the message from Georgie again.

 _"She knows."_

Those two words were like a dagger straight to his heart.

He tried calling Molly again.

' _The person you are calling is unavailable...'_

Shit! Fuck! Where the hell was she? He needed to talk to her.

But he was stuck here for another 8 days.

 _8 days later_

Charles walked into the flat he shared with Molly and knew straight away something wasn't right.

There was a couple of days worth of post built up behind the front door, and the place smelled empty.

No lingering aromas of cooking or perfume anywhere.

He dropped his Bergen in the hallway and walked into the living room.

Sitting on the coffee table was a small black velvet box and an envelope.

He opened the box and immediately let it fall to the floor. Inside it sat her engagement ring and wedding band.

He sank to his knees and grasped for the envelope, his hands shaking as he pulled the letter out.

 _Charles,_

 _I write this with a shattered heart._

 _You were my everything. You owned me mind, body and soul. You made me believe that Icould do and be anything I wanted and for that I will always be greatful._

 _I knew something wasn't right. I knew you were hiding something from me. But never in a million years did I think it was something like this._

 _I've asked and been granted a transfer. Away from you. Away from her. Away from anything and everything that would and could remind me of you._

 _Don't try and find me, you never will._

 _Enjoy the rest of your life. I hope it brings you everything you deserve._

 _Molly Dawes_

 _P.s. she was my bestfriend!_

Charles scrunched the letter to his chest and screamed.

 _9 months later_

"You know where she is, don't you? You fucking piece of shit!" Charles shouted at Captain Geddings.

"Captain James, this is my office." Matthew Geddings said calmly. "You may outrank me with time served, however we are of the same rank and I would appreciate being treated with the respect that rank deserves."

"9 months I've been looking for her, 9 fucking months. I've cashed in all my favours pulled all the strings I can and no one will tell me where she is. You were her CO. You know where she is, don't you?"

Matthew looked at his fellow captain. He had never seen a man so broken. Charles James had lost a lot of weight. He had large dark rings below his eyes and overall just looked a mess.

"Look, I'll be honest with you. Yes, I know where she is. However I can't and won't tell you. All you need to know is that she is alive, she's safe and I think for the first time in a long time she is happy."

Matthew glanced behind him at the picture of his goddaughter Charlotte. Her mother insisted on calling her Charlie for short. With the mop of brown curls and chocolate brown eyes she was the image of her father.

Thank God, the man stood in front of him didn't notice.

"I need her," Charles said in a small voice. "I love her."

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that a year ago. Now, if you don't mind, I have a meeting with the the General in 20 minutes, so I really have to go. Maybe it's time you tried to move on."

"I can't," Charles said in a small whisper.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you, to everyone who has followed, liked and reviewed so far. It means so much that people are liking my story._

 _My plan is to have a HEA for Molly and CJ but as it's a story you never quite know where it's going to go._

* * *

 _Molly had needed that shower to get the stink of death off her skin._

 _The sight of those boy soldiers lying there made her feel sick. They had obviously been caught by surprise and probably by people who they thought of as friends._

 _How could she go on R &R now?_

 _Wearing her black shorts and red vest top, she walked around the med tent towel drying her hair when she heard the knock._

 _There he was, stood by the door watching her. His mop of brown curls and chocolate coloured eyes seemed to draw her in._

 _"Now, erm, I have a request for you."_

 _"Boss?"_

 _"Well, I've had my Nespresso machine sent from England at great expense..."_

 _"To the tax payer."_

 _"Maybe, but completely justified because I'm not a fully functioning soldier until I've had my first shot of coffee in the morning."_

 _"Tea bag does me, Boss."_

 _"Now, Dawes, London, Nespresso shop on Regents Street. Go and buy me some Rosabaya coffee capsules and I will adore you for always."_

 _"Always, Sir?"_

 _Their fingers entwine both of them looking down at them._

 _"Come back to me," he whispers._

 _"I will. Don't worry."_

The scene changes. Molly knows that this is a dream but she can't seem to wake herself.

 _"You really hurt me."_

 _"All I want is to make you happy."_

 _"Well, you fucked up big time."_

 _"In that ditch..."_

 _"Frightened the life out of me."_

 _"Exactly. In that moment a lot of things flashed through my mind. I thought it was the end."_

 _"So did I."_

 _"I turned and looked at you and... you were all I wanted. I want you to be the last thing I see."_

 _"Ditto."_

 _That first kiss was magical. In the harsh but beautiful landscape of Afghanistan it made everything worthwhile._

The scene in Molly's dream changes again.

 _Sitting in the flat her phone beeps with a text. Thinking it's Charles, she grabs at it with urgency. She see's it's from Georgie and smiles. She hasn't heard from her best friend in ages._

 _Molly begins to read and it doesn't take long to realise it wasn't meant for her._

' _I miss you. I know I shouldn't but I do. I miss lying in your arms and feeling that everything is going to be alright. I should feel guilty about what we're doing, but strangely enough I don't. Molly is my best friend, or I should say was as I know I can't face her again, knowing I've taken her husband."_

"Mum! Mum! Wake up! I'm going to be late!"

Molly was woken by her eleven year old daughter.

"I'll be wiv ya in a minute, Charlie. Av ya had ya brekkie?"

"Yes, Mum," came the sighed reply.

"Fine, giv us five minutes and I'll be ready to go.

Molly got out of bed and walked into the bathroom, looking in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy with crying in her sleep and the tears had left streaks running down her cheeks.

These dreams had been coming more and more frequently as her return to England came closer.

The thought of seeing him again, however slim, scared her. She still loved him. She would always love him. There had been no one since him.

In the years since she'd left she had made both her career and her daughter her primary focus.

The fact that she was based in Canada and that she didn't have to go on tour meant she was able to be an almost full time mum. As well as being able to forward her career. She had been promoted to lieutenant about 3 years ago andithadbeen  
one of thebest days of her life.

Being a full time mum to Charlotte had been strange but oh so rewarding. Charlie was an exceptionally bright child. But after all these years Molly no longer felt stupid. She was able to help her daughter when needed.

She sighed as she splashed cold water on her face to try and take down the puffiness. She didn't want Charlie to realise how worried she was about returning home.

* * *

 _NB. This chapter really took on a life of its own and certainly didn't finish up where I had planned. Hope none of you mind xx_


	4. Chapter 4

_12 years 1 month 22 days._

 _That's how long it's been since I last saw my wife._

 _12 years 1 month 12 days._

 _That's how long it's been since I realised I'd lost my wife forever._

 _It's funny isn't it. They always say you don't know what you've got till it's gone._

 _Well, whoever came up with that is so right._

 _I've written in these diaries since that first day. That god awful day when I got back from exercise to find she'd gone._

 _I hope to see her again one day so that I can give her them and she can read how much I love her. How much I've missed herand how sorry I am that I thought she wasn't what I wanted or needed._

 _When Elvis died I became lost. Although Molly tried to help me deal with it I don't think I let her. I tried to make out that everything was okay. That I was okay but I wasn't._

 _I made myself believe that the only person who understood what I was feeling was Georgie. I conveniently forgot that Molly had been through the loss of her best friend._

 _I conveniently forgot._

 _I made myself believe that Elvis would have been happy with the fact that I thought I was falling for Georgie._

 _It took Molly leaving and many many months of counselling and soul searching to realise that Elvis would have hated it!_

 _Yes, he would have wanted Georgie to be happy but not at the expense of my hurting Molly._

 _And in all fairness, I wasn't falling in love with Georgie. I was in love with the idea of having something that Elvis loved._

 _It took those months of counselling for me to finally admit something that Molly had been trying to tell me for months previously. I was suffering with PTSD._

Charles put his pen down and closed his eyes.

The first year of Molly's departure had been hell. He'd tried everything he could think of to try and find her. He'd pulled every string and cashed in every favour but nobody could (or would) help him. Most of his friends had beendisgusted withwhat  
he had done and shut down all communication.

The final straw came about 9 months after she'd left when he'd stormed into Captain Geddings's office f'ing and blinding at him.

After that he'd spiralled into a very deep depression.

He'd even contemplated suicide. But knew that that was the cowards way out.

He'd finally realised that he needed to get away from the Army. He resigned his commission and moved back to Bath with his mum and dad.

Life had been hard. Sam hated him for making Molly go away and his parents had looked at him with so much disappointment.

It had taken a long time, but things were finally getting back on track. Sam, at 20, had decided tofollow inhis dad's footsteps and join the Army. And Charles had finally moved out of Bath and had a new career.

He glanced down at his watch, 06.45.

"Shit!" He said to himself. "I need to get ready for work."

* * *

 _Thank you everyone for your comments etc. I know, I know 12 years is along time. Before anyone asks, I've got Sam at 20 because in season 1 I think he looks about 5. Molly and CJ were together for about 3 and then the 12 that Molly has been in Canada._

 _Please continue to review and comment xx_


	5. Chapter 5

"Charlie?" Molly asked her daughter.

"Yeah, mum?"

"You got evryfing you need fer today?"

"Yes, mum. I've got my school books to hand back, forms for the teachers to sign."

"And you know wot the plan is?"

"Yes, mum! Finish school, go to Sal's, change for Cadets and meet you there after you've squared away on base."

"Aw, yer a good girl. Now before yer leave we need to hav a quick chat. This move to England is gonna be hard. Yer know that don't yer."

"Mum, I'll be fine. I know that I was born here, but it's never really felt like home, you know. I think because I always knew that one day we'd go to England."

"It's not just that." Molly sighed. "Yer know that you might at some point meet yer Dad?"

"Yeah, I know. Not that he knows who I am."

"Charlie?"

"No, mum. It's fine. I get it. He hurt you and you left to come here. I get it. I do sometimes wish that I had a dad, but I don't really need one. I have the best mum in the world!" Charlotte leant down and gave Molly abig hug.

"How did I get so lucky, having a daughter like you?" Molly said though her tears.

Charlie laughed. "I'm the lucky one."

 _5 hours later_

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Molly looked around the empty office. The office that had been her second home for the last 12 years.

It was here that she had got her life back together, and had finally got used to being on her own.

It was here that she had learned to prioritise, learned how to give both her baby daughter and her career the time needed.

Molly could feel the tears threatening to come and gave herself a mental shake. She was now a lieutenant in the British Army, and a mother to a beautiful and intelligent daughter.

She didn't need a man.

She didn't need him.

She'd done it all on her own.

Giving one more quick look, to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, she closed the door, removed the name plate, and walked away.

She made her way out of the building, stopping occasionally to say goodbye to colleagues, both military and civilian.

These people had become her friends and family, her lifeline when she'd first arrived. She was going to miss them all.

Walking towards base housing, she headed home.

It was hard to believe that this time tomorrow she would be back in England.

She entered the base housing that she had lived in for so long. It looked sterile. Any personal items had already been packed up and sent ahead to the beautiful 3 bed house in Blackwater, Hampshire.

Molly was going to be based at Sandhurst, but had point blank refused to be housed on base.

Charlotte would be going to school at HawleyHurst, and they would be living in the village which was less than two miles away from Sandhurst.

She looked at her watch and realised that it was time to go and pick up Charlie from cadets. They would quickly come back here to change and shove the last remnants of clothing into cases and then make their way to the airport.

England here we come.


	6. Chapter 6

_Before I start with this chapter can I just say OMG! Thank you for all your follows and reviews (even if some are written in a foreign language to me). Thank you for all your support it means so much._

* * *

Walking down these hallways, Charles knew he had made the right decision. The Army had been slowly killing him, and losing Molly to his stupid behaviour while suffering from PTSD only went to prove it.

He was lucky, in a way. This job was only a couple of miles away from Sam, so he could be there if he was needed.

He didn't think he would be though. Sam was a good, hardworking lad. Any father would be proud.

When he had first said he was planning on joining up Charles had worried, the more they had talked aboutithowever, the morecomfortable Charles had felt.

Sam wasn't doing it for any other reason than he wanted to.

And the fact that he was going the officer route and training at Sandhurst like he had, made Charles extremely proud.

After leaving the Army Charles had thought long and hard about what he could do with his future. What qualifications did a washed up Army Captain have?

He had spoken to a lot of people who helped him to realise he had a lot more skills than he'd thought.

He had been in charge of countless men (and women) in both combat and humanitarian missions. He was organised and he was a stickler for rules (normally). He could be fun or serious depending on what was needed at the time.

He actually had a lot of skills that he hadn't even beenawareof, until they were pointed out to him.

It was then his future career became obvious.

So he'd gone back to University to get the qualifications needed.

He'd thought that he would be out of place, being older (he was almost 40 after all). But that wasn't the case.

There were many people his own age or older, who'd thought they could bring skills and knowledge to a new career.

So, after 3 years (5 since Molly disappeared), Charles had qualified as a teacher.

It didn't take long for him to make a reputation for himself. His years in the Army helping him. Schools tended to seek him out to help them solve problems, but these tended to only be temporary jobs.

This appointment however was a bit different. He had been looking for something more permanent, and when the Headteacher position came up at HawleyHurst, Charles thought that Lady Luck was finally looking down again and smiling.

The new school year was due to start in a couple of weeks, and he still had a lot to do to get ready, not least getting things organised for the new student open weekend.

Hoping Sam might be able to get one of the days off to come and see him, Charles sat at his desk and began making a list of what still needed to be done.


	7. Chapter 7

The flight into Gatwick was uneventful. Charlotte had divided her time between listening to music, reading the latest Rick Riordan book and making a list of everything she still needed for school.

Molly had also been making lists. Lists of things to do at home, things to do at base. Lists were something that Charles used to do.

She had laughed at him back then. Now, she was greatful. It helped keep her head straight and made her a lot more organised.

They arrived at Gatwick and went to wait for their bags. Molly sent a text. "Waiting for bags!" The reply came almost instantly. "OK. Waiting in arrivals. See you soon."

About half an hour later, they walked through the arrival doors and Molly started looking around.

"Uncle Matthew!" Charlotte shouted and she ran towards a tall man in uniform.

"Hiya, Chaz. How's my favourite goddaughter?"

Molly smiled as she walked up to Captain Matthew Geddings.

"Captain!" Molly said.

"Lieutenant!" Captain Geddings replied. "You ready to get out of here?"

"God, yes, please."

"Let's go then. Should only take us about an hour to get to the new house. Did you sleep at all on the plane?"

"Couldn't." Molly replied.

"Well, have a quick nap in the car. Actually, you're going to need it. You've been requested on base this afternoon." Matthew said.

"Really? They couldn't even giv' me a beedin day? Of course not! What's the urgency?" Molly asked.

"Honestly don't know. Think it has something too do with the new batch of officer recruits, but I don't know for certain. Now lets get you home."

The drive seemed slow and tedious. And even though Molly tried to sleep, she found it impossible. Probably something to do with still being on Canadian time. It did mean that she'd sleep well tonight though.

Matthew pulled up outside the house. "Here we go."

Molly had to catch her breath. She had only seen the house in photos and they hadn't done it justice.

It was absolutely perfect for her and Charlotte. Not to big not to small.

"Wow, mum! This place looks awesome." Charlie said.

"I was just finking the same fing."

"Let's get you inside, and you can go and have a look around. I hope I put everything where you want it."

"You didn't have to do that," Molly said.

"I had a few days off. Thought I might make myself useful." Matthew said with a smile.

They walked in and looked around. The place looked amazing. There were even flowers on the kitchen table.

Upstairs was just as good. Molly walked into her room, her wardrobe door was open and her uniform was hanging freshly starched and ironed. Matthew stood at the door.

"Katie."

"Of course it was," Molly said with a knowing look. "She did it for me once at Basic, too. I don't know how I would have made it through without her."

"Well, she said to tell you, welcome to your new home, good look on Base and give her a call to meet up for a coffee."

"Okay, will do. Right let's get some lunch. The sooner I get to Base the sooner I get back to spend the first night in my new home," Molly said.

She went into the Kitchen to find it fully stocked. Matthew really had been busy, and Molly knew she had to find a way to thank him.

After lunch, she went up to change into uniform. No one who knew her now would have believed where she had come from.

After making her hair regulationlength, she was ready to go.

They travelled the 5 minutes in silence. Molly was nervous. This was her first posting in the UK for 12 years.

They parked in the visitors car park and walked to the Guardhouse.

When they enteredthe two Officer Cadetson duty stood to attention.

"Sir! Ma'am!"

"At ease, Cadets." said Captain Geddings.

"Lieutenant Dawes, reporting as requested," Molly told them.

One of them checked the list of authorised visitors and gave a nod of his head.

He picked up the phone.

"We need someone to escort a visitor to the General." Replacing the receiver he looked at Molly.

"There will be someone here to escort you in a couple of minutes, Ma'am"

Molly nodded. "Thank you, Cadet."

There was a knock on the door, and in walked her escort. He was tall, with a mop of brown curls and chocolate brown eyes. The name on his uniform read 'James'.

"Cadet, please escort Lieutenant Dawes to the General.

Cadet James looked at Molly, the shock registering almost immediately.

"Molly?"

* * *

 _So sorry that this took so long. I knew where I wanted to start and where I wanted it to finish but had a real struggle to fill it out. xx_


	8. Chapter 8

_Before I start can I just say a HUGE thank you to everyone who is following my story. You can't imagine what a thrill it is to read your reviews and know that you like it. Love to you all xx_

* * *

"Shit!" Charles James hissed as the paper sliced across his finger.

During his Army career he'd been shot on numerous occasions, he'd been speared in the leg by a boar trap. And he put paper cuts almost at the top of the list for pain.

He rummaged around in his desk drawer and managed to find a plaster.

He still had so much to do in regards to the open weekend, but only had two days to get it done.

Feeling he deserved a break, he got up from his desk and decided to go and stretch his legs. A short walk into the fabulous grounds would help him clear his head and maybe help put a plan in action.

Most of the big things were sorted, one of the dorm rooms had been set out to show the new borders what they would be living in for the new term. The new Prefects, Head Boy and Head Girl has been notified and attendance confirmed, theschool orchestrawas  
readyto go and all the teachers were ready with subject information.

The main thing left for Charles to do was to organise the new student intake into their classes. A mix of new students with old, and borders with day kids.

He had 40 kids starting this year, 24 borders and 16 days.

Going back to his office he took out the list of new students. As he read down the names one seemed to jump off the page at him.

Dawes, Charlotte B. Age 11 and 4 months.

She was going to be a day student which meant she lived in one of the surrounding villages.

Charles heart thumped in his chest.

In the years he'd been teaching he'd had a few Dawes show up on his register. And he always felt like this, until he realised they had nothing to do with Molly. It wasn't that unusual a name after all.

Even so, it didn't stop him from looking a bit more into her personal information.

She'd been born in Canada. And lived there until recently. Her school records were excellent and the comments from her previous teachers and Headmistress said how exceptionally bright she was. They also mentioned how kind and respectful she had been.

Charles didn't know why but he needed to find out more. He logged into his computer and pulled up her application.

He was actually disappointed with what he found. There was no parent named only a contact of Major Morley at Sandhurst.

Charles couldn't put a face to the name, but he had been away for a long time. Maybe he should give Sam a call later and see what he could find out.

He didn't want to get his hopes up, he really didn't. But, the name of Dawes and the link to the Army was just too big of a coincidence.

He dug his mobile out of his pocket and rang Sam.

 _"Hi, you've reached Sam. I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."_

"Sam, it's Dad. Can you ring me back as soon as possible? I really need to talk to you. Thanks."

He hung up, and looked down again at the name.

Dawes, Charlotte B. Age 11 years 4 months.

Numbers started running through Charles' head. If she did have something to do with Molly then the dates worked.

Could this be Molly's daughter? Could this be _his_ daughter?

Charles shook his head. He couldn't think like this. He couldn't _allow_ himself tothink like this. He couldn't build his hopes up to be disappointed later on.

It wouldn't be fair on him, or on this girl.

He tried to focus on writing the new class lists, but his mind kept drifting.

 _If_ this was his daughter, why had Molly not told him? Did she know about him? Did she know she had a brother?

All these things kept running through his mind. Along with a million other things, when his phone rang.

He looked at the screen and saw that it was Sam.

"Sam?" He said, answering.

"Hi, Dad. I just got your message. Actually I was going to give you a call anyway. Are you sat down?"

"Yes, I wanted to ask you about Major Morley, but you sound a bit stressed. What's going on?"

"Dad... I have something to tell you, only I don't know how."

"Just tell me straight. Whatever it is we can deal."

"Okay," Sam paused. "Molly's home!"


	9. Chapter 9

_I knew it had to happen at some point._

 _I knew coming back to England that I was going to have to contact him._

 _I didn't however think I'd have to do it within 24 hours of being back._

 _Why did they have to call me back on base today?_

 _And why did my escort have to be Sammy?_

 _God, he's grown up. In my head he's still an 8 year old boy. I know that that seems stupid, after all Charlotte (his sister!) is 11. But he was 8 when I last saw him and at that time I couldn't have imagined him growing up without my seeing it._

 _Other than saying my name he didn't talk to me at all._

 _Charlotte however did. As soon as we left the base she was on my case._

 _I hadn't told her about Sam. She knew about her dad and I'd shown her pictures. But I'd never once mentioned her brother._

 _I hadn't intended on keeping it a secret from her. But that's how she felt._

 _We got home and she went running up to her room screaming at me that she hated me._

Molly put her pen down.

"Charlie," Molly called up the stairs. "Will you please come down, I really need to talk to you. We can order Chinese for dinner and talk about this."

"Talk about what?" Charlie said as she walked down the stairs. "How you kept me away from my Dadwhodoesn't know I exist? Or how you didn't tell me I had a brother, who doesn't know I exist?"

Molly put her head down onher arms. "I'm so sorry." She said quietly as tears silently ran down her cheeks.

She lifted her head to look at her daughter. She couldn't hide from this any longer.

"I loved your dad, absolutely adored him. He was my world, my rock. He made me a better person. Made me believe I could do so much."

"I loved Sam, too. He may not have been mine, but he was an extension of Charles."

Molly paused for a few seconds but quickly continued.

"Being married, your dad and I weren't allowed to serve together, so I arranged for oneof my good friends Georgie to become the medic during his deployment."

"He had been in Nepal after some major earthquakes and they were making theirway back to Kabul when they were ambushed. Georgie's fiancé and your dad's best friend Elvis was killed. Your dad wasn't right after that."

"What do you mean he wasn't right?" Charlie asked.

"He was suffering, PTSD. Only he wouldn't admit it. I tried to get him to get help, but he didn't want to know. He didn't want my help and our marriage began to suffer."

"He went off again, this time to Belize. I begged him to stay but he wouldn't. He got seriously hurt, and in a way I was pleased, as I thought it would force him to stay home and get the help he desperately needed."

"But, I was wrong. He got himself back to active duty and went back to his section who were now in Bangladesh."

"When he got back from that tour, he was different again. He was quiet and secretive. He tried to act normal, but I knew."

"He was on a training exercise, away for 10 days, when I found out. I got a message from Georgie. Only it wasn't meant for me, it was meant for your dad saying how she didn't feel guilty for taking my husband."

"I went to my CO, your Uncle Matthew, that day and asked for a transfer. I didn't know I was pregnant with you. I left 3 days later, and never looked back."

"Dad cheated on you?" Charlie asked, "with your friend?"

"I didn't know I was pregnant when I left for Canada." Molly said. "If I had maybe things would have been different. Maybe I would have stayed and tried to fight. But back then, I couldn't do it.I'd alwaysfelt that he was too good for me."

"Maybe," said Charlie. "But that doesn't explain why you didn't tell me I had a brother."

"Honestly, I'm not sure why I didn't tell you. I think, I was scared."

"Why?"

"If I'd told you that you had a brother, what would you have done?" Molly asked.

"I don't know, probably have wanted to contact him."

"And what do you think Sam would have done if you'd contacted him, telling him you were his sister?"

"Said something to dad. Okay, I get it. But we can't avoid it now, can we?" Charlie said.

"You know, you are far to old for your age. I knew I was going to have to contact him. I just didn't think it was going to be so soon. I'll ask your Uncle Matthew to help me try and find him tomorrow. Okay? Are you ready tomeet him?"

Before Charlie could answer there was a knock on the door.


	10. Chapter 10

_How much do I love all your reviews? They really do make me smile. When I started this story I had no idea how much you'd all like it. Makes me feel really appreciated. So thank you all xx_

* * *

Charles heart jumped into his throat and the butterflies that had been in his stomach earlier in the day had become bats.

He felt sick. He felt nervous. He felt excited.

Molly was home.

"How? When?" Was all he was able to ask Sam.

"I don't know dad. I was called to the guardroom to escort a visitor to the General. And it was her."

"And Dad, she wasn't alone."

Charles started to panic. Not alone? Who was she with? Had she moved on from him? He supposed it was more than possible after all they had been apart for 12 years.

But he hadn't moved on from her, and he really needed her to know that.

"Who... who was she with?" Charles asked.

"A Captain, didn't catch his name. And a young girl." Sam replied.

"I need you to do something for me." Charles said. "Actually, no don't worry about it, I'll sort it."

"Are you sure, Dad? I want to help. I've missed her to you know?"

"I know, Sammy" Charles said, using Sam's childhood nickname. "But this is something that I need to do."

"Okay." Sam said grudgingly. "But if you think of anything, you let me know, okay?"

"Thanks, son. I will."

Charles buzzed through to his secretary, "Yes, Sir."

"I need to you to contact a Major Morley at Sandhurst about an application of a Miss Charlotte Dawes. There's some paperwork that needs to be signed by a parent before the start of term but we don't seem to have a name or address."

"Okay, no problem, Mr James. I'll get on that straight away." She said.

"Thank you."

He sat back in his chair,and thought.

Molly was home. The love of his life, his soul mate.

God, how he had missed her and he needed her to know that. Even if she had moved on.

He sat there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only about 30 minutes.

"I have that information for you, Sir."

Charles scribbled down an address, it was in the village. The only information on the parent was as Lieutenant Dawes.

If this was Molly, then she'd gone and done it. She'd become an officer. He'd always said she'd make a good officer. She had been an amazing soldier. Not many received the Military Cross, let alone someone on their first tour.

The house was only a 10 minute walk, but Charles decided that he would drive there. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when he got there, and having the car would let him make a quick getaway if it was needed.

He sat in the car for a good 20 minutes, trying to build up the courage to knock on the door.

"Jesus, James, you have turned into a wimp."

He had faced down the taliban and been in war zones and here he was afraid to knock on a door.

Taking a deep breath, he got out of the car, walked up the path.

And knocked. 


	11. An apology

_This is a just a quick message for everyone who has followed, liked and favourited this story._  
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_

 _I'm sorry for the delay in updating the next chapter, but school holidays are a nightmare and as the next few chapters are pretty crucial I want to make sure I have the time to do them justice._

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 _Thank you for your patience and I'll hopefully have an update for you soon._

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 _xxx_


	12. A further apology

I really have to give you all a huge apology I have been trying to get the next chapter finished and uploaded for you but life really does have a way of screwing you over.

My brother is currently in hospital in an induced coma due to a head injury so my focus really hasn't been on finishing this.

Once I know everything is okay with him I will try and get this finished I promise.

Thank you all for your continued support. Love you all xxx


	13. Chapter 13

Thank You

To all the followers of his story can I just say a massive thank you. You support of both my story and for my brother has been amazing.

Unfortunately due such a huge amount of time passing I am no longer of a mind to finish, which is super frustrating as I hate it when I fall in love with a story and it doesn't get finished.

Hopefully (keeping my fingers crossed) my muse will return once the new series starts.

Thank you all again. I love you all xx


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